What did Principal Sun want from me? Had I been found out?

“It’s the weekend. I’d rather relax,” I began.

“It won’t take much of your time.”

The principal snapped her fingers. Space refracted around us, and moments later, we’d reappeared in her office.

I guess when you were as powerful as she was, you didn’t need to take no for an answer, especially from someone as weak as me.

I resigned myself to the situation and took a seat in front of her desk. She sat down in her armchair, leaned back, and crossed her long legs, gesturing with one hand. A gilded pot rose through the air to elegantly pour us both a cup of coffee.

“After the unfortunate attack on Veratrum Row two days ago, I’ve been checking in with the affected students,” said Principal Sun. “I understand that you were not there on that day, but your sister was impacted, and the residence you stayed in last year was lost. How are you feeling?”

“As well as can be expected, I suppose.”

“Yes, it is quite a lot to swallow, isn’t it? Quite a few of your classmates were caught up in that incident.” She peered out at me from behind her horn-rimmed glasses. “Verica, who faced down the perpetrator; Luka, who chased him down alone yet lost the tail.”

At her particular deliberate rhythm of speech, a bad feeling came over me. Principal Sun was capable of skimming the mind to judge something about her target; was she doing the same now to look for a match to the culprit? With the attitude that it was better to try than not, I activated [Detached Performer] in case it could alter anything about my “mental signature,” then pushed away my cup of coffee and stood up. “Principal Sun, I’d rather not—”

The coffee cup moved back into place, and a mysterious force pressed me back into the chair. “So many powers were involved, too,” she continued, still watching me. “There’s Lemiria, the Order of the Black Sun, the Dragon Shrine and the Great Dragon behind them… Aha. It’s as I thought.”

She pulled her glasses down the bridge of her nose and smiled at me, eyes flashing blue.

“Found you. Little imposter.”

Damn. So [Detached Performer] was useless at actually concealing things when it mattered? Maybe it was only good for concealing things from the user themself.

“What are you talking about?” I denied anyway.

“And how exactly do you feel about me?” Principal Sun replied, ignoring my denial entirely. “—The same as the Great Dragon, I see.”

I sighed inwardly. She laughed.

“So I know your secret, and you know mine. Why don’t we do away with the charade?”

Damn [Bound Prophet], it hadn’t included this in its vision. This kind of junk product should just be thrown into the trash.

“Don’t worry,” said Principal Sun. “If I intended to expose you to the world, this conversation would have happened very differently. But if you are so nervous — how about we call that your favor used, hmm?”

Right, I was nervous right now. I didn’t want to let her take advantage of that, though.

“Two parties acting on a shared interest can hardly be called a favor. Won’t it defeat the purpose if you revealed the truth behind the curtain?”

She smiled. “So you acknowledge it.”

Ah, this wasn’t how I wanted things to go. Even if we both knew what was going on now, having to talk about it frankly with the Great Dragon herself didn’t seem like a good idea at all. What should I say?

“…I think that even if you know what lies underneath the mask, there are things you can’t do without it on.”

Her smile widened. “With a philosophy like that, you’ve missed your true calling as a devotee to the Signifier.”

Since she was a Hierarch of the Signifier, I ventured, “Is that a compliment?”

Principal Sun burst out laughing.

“I spoke with Luka first,” she said softly. “His emotions were less reticent than his words, but not enough to identify anyone among his acquaintances. So then I searched among Veric’s orphan friends at the temple. When I found no matches there, I turned my attention to the student body proper. To think that the one so willing to harm aristocratic interests was, in fact, one of their own!”

No, that wasn’t actually true, either…

“Well, it is heartening for that child to have such a good friend,” Principal Sun concluded. “As they say, the straightest tree is the first to be cut down. How fortunate for such a tree to have such thorny brambles to protect its roots.”

For someone who had boasted about manipulating signs, she wasn’t very good at interpreting them, was she?

“We’re not friends,” I corrected.

Principal Sun raised her eyebrows.

“No? Then what would you call your relationship, if not that?”

“It’s just self-satisfaction on my part. On Veric’s… I don’t know. Delusion?”

“And yet, the care you have for each other is quite real.”

“Did she tell you that?”

“Do you deny her care? Or yours?”

“It’s not about the emotions,” I clarified. “The foundations for a relationship were crooked from the start.”

Wait, why was I explaining this? Normally, this was where I’d think, “I don’t want to talk about this, it feels dangerous and it hurts.” But now, I’d just gone, “Well, I guess I could explain that.” Wasn’t this kind of bad?

“Oh?” The principal leaned forward. “And what do you mean by that?”

Although it was a bit late to undo the damage, I let go of [Detached Performer]. The sense of reality that had briefly taken vacation somewhere in the clouds abruptly came back to me. I took a deep breath to steady myself at the shift, and to cover up my suddenly unsteady emotions, I took a sip from my cup of coffee. The bitter, smoky flavor spread over my tongue.

Principal Sun, of course, waited patiently. I didn’t think she’d let go of this conversation unless I satisfied her desire for understanding first.

So reluctantly, I opened my mouth.

“It’s impossible to form a real friendship when the fundamental assumptions of that connection are wrong. The classic case is one of intent, but you could also consider, for example,” I paused pointedly, “a hidden identity. In this case, the true relationship can’t start until that lie is resolved. As long as it isn’t, then… everything is just fantasy, isn’t it? Even if it seems cruel, it’s better to kill that fantasy from the start.”

Setting down the bitter brew before me, I met her eyes.

“You should understand this kind of thing best of all, right?”

Principal Sun tapped her long, painted fingernails on her cup. Her amused smile was far too reminiscent of the Tripartite.

“My dear Acacius, have you only been in this world for a day? Tell me, what is the Signifier’s creed?”

At her expectant gaze, I hazarded a guess. “‘I am the mask, and the one who wears it’?”

The shadows darkened. A soundless sigh whispered through the room. My skin prickled, but when I looked around, there was nothing new there.

“Correct,” said the principal. “The lines between truth, falsehood, reality, and fantasy are not so easily defined. Moreover, as the Scriven Word has to say…”

The light flickered strangely, caught between silver and shadow. The principal’s shadow blurred on the wall into a familiar figure. An eerie undertone joined with her voice as she spoke next.

“A mask can hide your face, but never your voice.”

The skin on my back broke out into goosebumps as a ghostly presence drew close there. I didn’t dare to turn my head around. A gentle laugh reached my ear, and cold wind stroked my neck.

Then the wind fell away. The presence in the room slowly ebbed away, and the shadows settled back into place. I caught my breath.

“First time feeling Their resonance?” said the principal. “You will become used to it in time.”

“I don’t think I want to,” I said weakly.

“It’s too late for that, I’m afraid.”

I felt like I’d lost all strength to get through this conversation. Perhaps sensing my failing spirit, Principal Sun refilled my cup.

“Those who meet me as Principal Sun may not know everything about me. However, that does not mean that ‘Principal Sun’ is not real. In fact, what they see of my mask here may be truer than the true me. Perhaps it is the only way for them to know ‘me’ at all.”

“Our circumstances are different.”

“Of that I have no doubt. But is it so different that you cannot accept affection when it is given to you?”

Like an afterthought, a small lidded container floated down from the back cabinet, opening itself to reveal the pure white sugar inside. A tiny bronze spoon scooped out the sweetness and added it to my cup, stirring gently before setting itself to the side.

“Life is bitter and full of sorrows. Therefore, it is all the more necessary to embrace goodness when it comes.”

I couldn’t bring myself to try the brew she had adjusted for me.

“Why are you giving me this advice? I thought you didn’t like the noble families. After all, with what happened to King Yiannis…”

“Indeed. I often ask myself why I have any patience for this country at all.”

Principal Sun sighed and scooped out some sugar for her own cup. Leaning back in her chair, she took a long sip and savored the taste before continuing.

“Before the days of Iyiria, and before even the four kingdoms of Lemiria were united into one empire, I knew the founder of your family. Those were bitter days, the days of slavery, and Yasen was one such slave. With the help of a commoner girl who worked in his master’s household, he broke away from a slave’s fate, rising through military feats to become a highly respected and enfeoffed lord.

“Yasen never forgot his grudges or his favors, and naturally, his affection for that girl was deep. But during his rise, he’d made many enemies, and he did not dare to expose her place to him in his heart.

“On the day he became a lord, he went back to his former master’s house to ask that girl to come home with him. However, it was too late. The lives of commoners were like chaff in the wind, and hers had long been lost to the turmoils of war. Oh, how Yasen cried. His sorrows could have reached the heavens. If only he’d had more courage, he lamented, so that even if her life had been cut short, he still could have loved her in the time that they had.

“They say that the apple does not fall far from the tree, but until the seed has sprouted, is there not still room for change? What sweetness it would be to learn from the mistakes of the past.”

I knew what she was trying to tell me, but I didn’t want to learn it.

“But now that you know about the forces targeting the Dragon Shrine, you won’t let Veric die, right?”

Principal Sun quirked the corner of her mouth.

“The higher your realm, the more you understand how fragile and full of turmoil this world truly is. It is Veric’s birthday tomorrow. Why don’t you go see her?”

“…I’ll think about it.”

She laughed.

“Two last things. Your family suffered the least damage from the attack on Veratrum Row; the other families will attempt to even the balance. You will find it difficult to acquire any favorable positions during the upcoming work-study program.”

“Okay,” I said, since I didn’t really care. “What else?”

“It seems that the Duvals’ coming-of-age ritual has done some significant damage to your mind. If you wish to regain the knowledge and associations that should have been there, with a Hierarch’s help, it is possible to restore the connections of the mind.”

It sounded tempting, but given what I’d seen of the Hierarchs’ powers…

“Would it really be my own understanding, or would it be your reproduction of how you believe I should understand the world?”

At that, the principal laughed and laughed.

“Alas! Were it that all those who desired power could be as wise as you.” She waved me away with a smile. “Go on then, little imposter. We’ll talk again another day.”

I resolved to delay that day as much as I could.

After being released from the principal’s office, I walked around the campus gardens some more to calm down.

If I just used [Detached Performer], it would be easy to regain distance from what had just happened.

That thought was no good. It was kind of scaring me how easy it was to think of using that mind-altering title again. I dragged a hand down my face.

Okay, Eunseok, no more of that. It was a stupid title that worked like crap anyway; just give it up for lost and don’t touch it again.

With that decision made, I picked up a copy of the newspaper and returned to my dorm. There, I summoned [Deceiver] — if not to check how much my last vision deviated from reality, then simply to have the company. We sat at the kitchen table and peered at the articles together.

It was, word for word, identical to what I’d seen in the vision.

And [Deceiver], of course, found it hilarious.

[Congratulations,] it said with a sly smile. [It is. As if. You are free.] 

“Yeah, yeah, you and your jokes…” I folded the newspaper closed. “Let’s just keep an eye out. The last thing left to do is confirm how Veric’s situation develops from here.” 

The futures shown to me by my visions could be changed. Roleplaying out what I’d already seen didn’t necessarily mean that things had happened exactly as expected. But still, it brought me some comfort to think that by doing this, things would turn out as I hoped.

For the foreseeable future, I’d probably be using [Bound Prophet] nightly to make sure I wasn’t about to be found out and hauled away by Artunis and her Ministry.

[So may. Secrets. Revealed. And relationships. Changed,] said [Deceiver]. [The future. is uncertain. And events. Out of. Control.]

It peered at me, eyes glowing, and its tail brushed under the kitchen table against my leg.

[Do you. Regret it?]

“I won’t know until we see what happens at the Dragon Shrine.”

[Then. Will you. Visit. That girl?]

It felt like a bad idea.

But I’d already followed through on a lot of those recently, right?

So the next day, I got up in the morning to shop for birthday gifts.

Now that I thought about it, what did I really know about Veric? I knew her personality, her beliefs, and her capabilities, but what did she like? What did she dislike? How did she want to spend her days?

I didn’t know whether to feel comforted or discomforted by the suddenly visible distance between us.

I ended up getting fancy hair ribbons for tying up her ponytail, a few in blue and a few in magenta to match her eyes. I also got a small package of cookies from a local bakery. After packing them up in the gift bag that Cynara had brought the tea in, I went down to the Dragon Shrine.

I didn’t see Veric or Roxana in the main hall; Saintess Corisande appeared to be leading some kind of prayer session in there. I left that alone and asked the Dragon Priestess outside if she could bring a message to Veric and tell her that Acacius was there to see her. The Dragon Priestess directed me into one of the side gardens to wait. There, I sat on one of the benches and shoved the gift bag underneath to hide it from sight. Couldn’t ruin the surprise, after all.

When Veric arrived, she was dressed casually in a light blouse unbuttoned pretty far down her chest and a baggy pair of shorts.

“Hey, Acacius! Good to see you up and about.” She sat down next to me and gave me a friendly thump on the shoulder. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to come and see you,” I said. “How are things at the Shrine?”

Veric leaned back on her hands and blew out a breath. “It was real hectic for a while. People affected by the flood came to stay in our wayhouses while they figured out next steps, but the temple’s old and not up to that neighborhood’s standard of comfort, so there was a lot of turnover in our free rooms when they weren’t making random requests left and right. Most of them have gone to hotels or second residences now. I’m glad they’re out of here.”

“Sounds like a pain to deal with.”

“Yup. Looking back on it, it’s pretty amazing that I haven’t heard you complain about poor conditions even once. Nithemoore’s dorms are high quality, but it’s not the kind of environment you’d usually live in, right?”

I shrugged. “I like luxury as much as the next person, but there’s not much to complain about when all your material needs are met.”

“Really?” Veric raised an eyebrow. “There’s not a single thing you’d change about your dorm?”

I thought about it. “They could add another fire escape that goes under my window.”

She laughed like I’d told a really good joke, even though I was serious.

“Is the Dragon Shrine still under pressure?” I asked. “When I saw the others at the Fellowship, they were talking like they were going to abandon pressure tactics for now, but I don’t exactly keep in touch with them.”

“The Six Families have pretty much all quieted down. My teacher actually used this opportunity to extract a bunch of concessions from them, too.” Veric smiled. “Since the Great Dragon allocates part of the national treasury for us specifically, we don’t really have to worry about funding… but it’s hard to implement health and public care initiatives if the aristocracy inhibits our authority.”

“So if they start acting up again, we should hope our culprit turns up to teach them another lesson,” I concluded.

Veric snorted. “Come on, that’s just asking for trouble.”

I smiled a little bit. “But the hero of the day can handle it, right?”

She shuddered. “Don’t call me that. My friends won’t stop teasing me about what they’re saying about me in the papers.”

“Oh, you’ve become a big shot, have you? So when will you invite me to your Saintess ceremony?”

Veric laughed and shook her head, but she looked a lot more relaxed than the last time we’d talked about her circumstances in the temple. “That’s still a long way away.”

“I’m glad things are looking up for you,” I said with a smile. And then, very seriously, “Happy birthday, Veric.”

She punched my shoulder. “You and your schemes. Worst birthday gift, ever.”

Well, she was still smiling.

Having gotten in my little joke, I pulled the bag out from under the bench. “I was just kidding around. This is your real birthday gift.”

Veric’s eyes widened. She carefully took the bag from my hands. “Wow, Acacius! You shouldn’t have! Where did you hear it was my birthday, anyway?”

“Can’t a guy keep his secrets? You’ll ruin my mysterious and knowledgeable persona.”

“I suppose a Saintess could allow that much,” she said graciously, and tore enthusiastically into her gift.

Seeing her so excited, I felt a little bad. “I wasn’t sure what you would like,” I cautioned. “But we’ve done a lot together recently, so…”

I folded my hands over my knees and looked away.

“Thanks for everything.”

In the corner of my eye, Veric held the hair ribbons up to the sun, admiring their silky sheen. She picked the magenta one that matched her eyes and tied it to the base of her ponytail in a slightly crooked bow.

“Thank you, Acacius,” she said sincerely. “I really like it. Just the fact that you thought of me makes me happy.”

“Don’t say something so sentimental…”

“Hey, you started it first.”

She ripped open the package of cookies and immediately went for one of the dark chocolate flavored ones. As she took a bite, she squinted her eyes in pleasure and handed the package to me, too.

I tried to wave her off. “This is for you.”

“Just take it, fool.”

It kinda felt like it was a trend for people to bully me these days. I gave in and picked one of the dark chocolate cookies to try, too. It was bitter on my tongue, but somehow, it was also sweet.

“My friends are throwing me a birthday party, soon,” said Veric. “Do you want to come?”

I shook my head. “It’ll be more comfortable for everyone if I’m not there.”

“So you’re one to be considerate of others’ feelings, now?”

“Maybe I also don’t like large gatherings.”

It was easy to be alone, and it was tiring to spend too much time with people who found “Acacius” unpleasant and untrustworthy. I mean, it was also my fault for actively maintaining that character, but still.

Veric seemed to find this reason of mine convincing, since she nodded without further pushback.

“I’m glad you came to visit today anyway.” Then, with a small but warm smile, “Thanks for coming.”

She enveloped me in a great, bracing hug. After a moment of stiffness, I hesitantly patted her back.

Honestly… it felt nice. I guess it had been a long time since I’d let myself have friendly contact like that.

Maybe Principal Sun had a point. I needed to find a way to enjoy my life here, or I’d go crazy, just like I had in my last life. But getting close — wouldn’t I be repeating a different kind of mistake?

By the time I bid Veric farewell and exited the Dragon Shrine, I still hadn’t made up my mind. Because of that, I ended up lingering by the courtyard fountain, looking up at the weeping face of the Saintess carved there.

Then a voice called out to me.

“Acacius.”

I turned around. Somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to be surprised to see Luka standing there.

Instead of the usual academy uniform, he was wearing jeans and a loose button-up shirt over a dark undershirt, with a plain gold-chain necklace that matched the color of his dangling earrings. It was the kind of casual wear I might see in the street or even at the Pearl Dive, but having never seen him outside of the academy’s formal wear or KP-04’s fantastical dress, it somehow felt strange.

“Luka.” I glanced at the fancy bag he was carrying. “Here for Veric’s birthday party?”

He nodded. “Are you?”

“I already delivered my gift.”

Luka nodded again, but he didn’t leave. It felt like he was waiting for me to say more.

If pressed, I felt like I could accept a relationship with someone like Veric, who didn’t have much impression of or attachment to the original Acacius. So it was like building a new relationship entirely. With Luka, though…

It would have been smart to keep a relationship with him like I did with Zaire, one where I gave him enough to be happy but avoided getting any closer. It was working so far, because Zaire was careful to give Acacius space and comfort, even without understanding. But Luka, for all his reticence, was someone who questioned appearances and dug for the truth.

I didn’t know how to answer his bids for connection, and I couldn’t afford to, either.

Wouldn’t it be better to draw the line cleanly with him, like I had for Rhoswen?

So I took a deep breath and met Luka’s eyes.

“Hey. About the other day… Sorry for lashing out.”

“It’s okay,” he said politely, though it was hard to tell if he really meant it. I nodded anyway.

“You probably noticed by now, but I don’t really like getting close to others.”

“You seem to be closer to Veric, now,” Luka noted.

“Veric is…” I tried to come up with an explanation, and then gave up. “She didn’t know me before. So when I’m talking to her, it feels like it might be okay to put the past behind me.”

Not just Acacius’, either. It was almost enough to make me forget about my own.

“But for you, Luka, the past is the foundation of the relationship, isn’t it? So, even if I’m different from what you remember, I still can’t give you answers, and I can’t give you closure, either. I’m… incapable of doing right by you. Even if I tried.”

“How can you know that?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was because I’m a prophet?”

Luka didn’t laugh. It was a pretty bad joke anyway.

“I don’t know why you keep extending your trust to my judgment,” I said, “but since you are, then trust me one more time. This is an intractable problem. So, for both of our sakes, it’s better to draw the line cleanly between us.”

Luka shook his head slowly.

“As is often said in the Secret-Keeper’s temples, a knot that can’t be untangled can sometimes be cut. Fixating too much on the process can cause one to lose sight of their ultimate desire.”

“And what if it can’t be cut, either?”

“There is a reason the Secret-Keeper is represented not just by the door and key, but by the seamless knot. We do not search for the answer to the mystery expecting to find it. However, it is that very search which keeps the mystery in your life.”

And he wanted to keep me in his life. Was that what he wanted to say?

I let out a breath.

As I thought, it was terrible trying to communicate with this guy.

“Thank you for helping me,” I said. “And thank you for keeping my secret. I owe you one, and when you ask for it, I’ll do my best to repay it. But anything beyond that… We had something pretty good this past month, didn’t we? So just let it go and treat it like a dream. Before it can turn into something worse.”

Luka watched me for a long moment with his ruby-red eyes.

“No.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “No?”

“Rhoswen is content to wait for you,” he said. “But I’ve already told you. Rhoswen and I are different.”

“So, what? You think you can persuade me by being a little more persistent? It’s more likely I’ll come to hate you first.”

“Perhaps a pursuit will only chase away what one desires,” Luka acknowledged. “But until we reach that point, how can we know the final answer?”

He leveled his piercing gaze at me.

“So if you really want me to stop, then swear to me that you have seen the future hidden by the Secret-Keeper’s veil, and that you know, beyond all doubt, that I will only come to regret it.”

“Hey, you bastard…”

If I had just used [Bound Prophet] to verify such an inane question, I could’ve sworn it. But why would I waste such a useful tool on something that could be foreseen with just a bit of common sense? If Luka knew the truth, he’d understand, too, that our relationship was doomed from the start.

But the problem in the first place was that I couldn’t tell him the truth. How could I say, “I’m sorry, but I killed and impersonated your friend,” and then ask for his trust and friendship anyway? The knot between us couldn’t be cut.

I ground my teeth in frustration.

“Forget it. What’s the point of trying to speak with you?”

For all his big talk, Luka didn’t stop me when I turned tail and retreated from the scene. It felt like the only thing I knew how to do these days was to make a mess and then leave.

Even if I wanted to change that, what could I do? If I lived too well, wouldn’t it leave an even bigger mess for everyone to figure out when I was gone?

Ah, I didn’t know anymore.

I wished Teacher was here. If it was her, maybe she could have solved what couldn’t be solved.

I vented my poor mood at the Pearl Dive by persuading Etienne into another aura training session. He had some pointed questions, but I managed to gloss it over somehow. It felt good to move my body, even if it didn’t solve any of my other problems.

Just like that, another school week came around again.

And, as had been promised—

Nithemoore’s work-study program began.

Chapter 66 Chapter 68